What I Learned at School Today

I learned that my eyes can crisscross 

like applesauce

but it's something fingers shouldn't do. 

I found out Indian food is hot

but it's called Native American food

according to the PC's rules. 

I learned there are different colors

for people

then there are for crayons. 

I learned that cleverness

is really bad

and words should not be played on. 

I learned girls are gross

and pretty

and their lips will give you cooties. 

I learned boys are mean 

and gritty

and that tears give them boobies. 

I learned that Santa

gives me more gifts

then my parents do. 

I learned that tests

will always matter most

but bad grades still let me go through. 

I learned that I'm 

a special snowflake

mix up with kids just like me. 

I learned that no pets die,

they run away,

just wanting to be free. 

I learned so many things

all at once

that everything must be true. 

That's what I learned 

at school today

and that's why I told it to you.